This 11 track album is based on a short story titled "Blur" written by Srikumar. Each chapter of the story corresponds to each track. The chapters can be read as the description for each song.
Alternatively, you can read the entire story here if you choose to do so.
Track 1 -
As clichéd as it may sound, I always knew I was different. Friends and family always had a tough time figuring out the wiring in my head! My dreams justified this. Every impulse that I suppressed in the forced normalcy of life violently came to life when I shut my eyes. Therapeutics helped to an extent, but it was my dreams that kept me sane. Or so Dr. Roberts thought.
Track 2 -
I found myself waking up in an unfamiliar place. My head was pounding and my body was killing me, certainly not the signs of a good night’s sleep! I looked around at the mess. Papers strewn about, glass shards all over the floor, cabinets fallen face down. There was definitely a struggle here. But what I saw next turned my stomach into a knot. A trail of blood from under my foot grew thicker and thicker, ending in a pool of blood adorned with two motionless bodies in a heap. I looked down right beside me and there it was, a knife, in all its bright red bloody glory!
Track 3 -
I could hear the sirens wailing outside. “We’ve got you surrounded, come out with your hands up!” These words reverberated across the crime scene. Was I responsible for these two murders? But I’d never met them in my entire life. Who were these two?! I wasn’t able to think clearly, and the pounding in my head didn’t help me one bit. I had to get out of there somehow, so I decided to make a run for it.
Track 4 -
I managed to dodge the cops, a daunting task nonetheless. There happened to be a strategically located fire escape at the back of the apartment that aided in my escape. I ran for what felt like ages until my legs turned to putty, and I stopped at a local park to catch my breath. I sat down on one of the benches, and could see the apartment out in the distance, bathed in shades of red and blue from all the cop cars outside. I thought about the bodies. Why? Why would I kill two random strangers? Was I drugged and framed for the murders? Or was I secretly a murderous psychopath terrorizing the city at night? I shuddered at that thought.
Track 5 -
The only thought that kept making its way to my head at that moment was Anne. I vaguely remember her telling me, in the morning, about Cory and Tyler, two guys at her workplace who used to give her a hard time every day. She was only one of the few females in an otherwise testosterone filled environment. But I calmed her down, gave her a hug and she left for work with that pretty smile on her face. I took my phone out to give Anne a call, and just as the home screen unlocked, I was shocked when I saw one of my reminders, “Cory and Tyler, Apartment 1989 at the corner of 3rd main and 14th cross. Settle it tonight!”
Track 6 -
My headache got worse. I felt nauseous; I could taste bile in my mouth. This was a planned attack, one that I had made myself! But for the life of me, I couldn’t recall any such thing. I had never acted on my violent impulses, even though they weren’t few and far. Not once, not ever. It was all bottled up. All these years, every impulse I had shrugged off and replayed in my dreams, were they all, in fact, just a dream? I needed to know the truth, no matter how brutal it was going to be. Was I dreaming, or was all of that real?
Track 7 -
As I sat there, gazing quietly into the distance, alone with my thoughts, I could see things a bit more clear now. The adrenaline surge had come down, and I was able to recall things prior to my waking up in an unfamiliar place. This was the first time I woke up in the middle of a dream, unlike before where my dreams generally had solid conclusions. Things started coming back to me. I recalled some violent imagery; hitting and stabbing two people right through their chest with a hunting knife, repeatedly, and then dialing for help. As convoluted as it may be, things were beginning to make more sense now. It was time I came into grips with my alter ego I suppressed many moons ago. It was time I dealt with me myself.
Track 8 -
All of a sudden, I felt this burning pain piercing through my chest, interrupting my thoughts. It felt as though someone had shoved a red hot rod sizzling through my heart. I screamed and looked down to find a neatly circular bullet hole. The sound of the ricochet echoed through the empty park and so did the words, “Get down on your knees or I will be forced to shoot you again!” I knew that running at this point wasn’t exactly an option, and neither was fighting back. I fell down to my knees, with a tear in my eye. I screamed back, “It wasn’t me, please give me a chance to explain”. A rookie cop with a few bullets to spare, and I’m just a cold hearted punk for all they care, a through and through wound was the least of their concerns. Before I could even finish my plea, I heard another shot go off. I could feel my head spinning and everything slowly fade to black.
Track 9 -
Grisly images of the victims kept playing in my head, over and over again. I just couldn’t pull myself away from the crime scene, mentally at least. Even in a dream like state all I could think of was those two. My conscience wasn’t letting me be. I was weighing sins and forgiveness on a scale. How could I have done this to Anne, she meant the world to me. I don’t think she would ever understand the events that took place in the apartment that night; unforgivable, heinous and vile. It was selfish of me, but something inside me kept telling me that it had to be done. And I couldn’t suppress that feeling anymore.
Track 10 -
I woke up to the sound of frustrated doctors and annoyed nurses. My chest and stomach were killing me! I tried to move my hands to just feel the wound, that’s when I realized that I was cuffed to the bed. It was time to face the fact that I was a convict, at least in the eyes of the cops that brought me to the hospital, albeit putting me in the predicament themselves. The only explanation I had for my actions was insomnia. But all of that didn’t matter, because I could see the light ahead of me, and the silhouette of Anne in the distance. No, it wasn’t the bright lights that hung just outside the emergency room; it was the bright light that one sees before they meet their maker.
Track 11 -
Dr. Roberts decided to stop today’s “therapeutic” session earlier than usual, and I had to abruptly stop my story. He took out the same paper clipping he had been showing me for the past 8 years and asked me to recall the story I just told him. The clipping was from October 22nd 2006 and read, “A deranged man killed his wife and two children, and then tried to hang himself. Although he was found semi-conscious at the scene, doctors say that he may never fully recover from the brain damage caused by the attempted hanging. Doctors also say that he had a long history of mental depression and was not on any medication. The diseased have been identified as Anne, 29, Cory, 5 and Tyler, 3”. What was the point of the clipping, those names didn’t ring any bells.
released January 22, 2015
Written, recorded and produced by Srikumar at Bangalore, India.
Album art by Vinu Vijayan and Srikumar.
Special thanks to Aritra Paul and Yashaswi Gundi.